‘Tis the Season

Grandma’s head exploded when her grandson
Popped a cap in her on Christmas Eve
You can say there’s no such thing as bad guys
But as for me and Grandpa we believe.

Kyle had been drinking too much egg nog
Mom had left the Glock out on the bar
Dad had always taught us all gun safety
With the rest of the Ballistic Arts.

The cops just shook their heads in much frustration
Since they had seen it all before
Such a happy family on the gun range
‘Til there’s another dead one on the floor.

So Grandma’s no longer ‘mong the living
And Kyle, well, he’s now a homeless bum
You can say there’s no such thing as bad guys
‘Cause Kyle was just a good guy with a gun.

Now Grandma’s just a very happy mem’ry
Of past days posing proudly ‘neath the tree
You can say there’s no such thing as bad guys
But as for me and Grandpa we believe….

———–

This is dedicated to the Fiore Family of Arizona. Their Christmas calendar made me feel so yuletidish inside, I just had to rewrite the lyrics to the classic Christmas Jingle, “Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer”. Michele is an Assemblywomen from Nevada with, some might say, questionable and controversial opinions. This revised song is just an homage to the logical extension of one of them….

Early Earthquake Warnings

It wasn’t all that long ago that the only system for early earthquake detection just didn’t exist. The best you could do was pray that if you were in an earthquake-prone area, God would look over you and help you survive.

Times have changed. We call that science.

So now we can actually do this.

The California Legislature has sent Gov. Jerry Brown a bill that would require development of an earthquake early warning system…

Scientists are already testing a demonstration system.

Can you image the story a hundred years ago?

By Associated Press, Updated: Friday, September 13, 10:39 AM

LOS ANGELES — The California Legislature has sent Gov. Hiram Johnson a bill that would require everyone to pray for an earthquake early warning system.

The bill moved forward in Thursday’s last hours of the legislative session and the governor has until Oct. 13 to act on it.

Pastors and religious leaders have been calling for such a system ever since the Great Earthquake in San Francisco in 1906. If God had simply alerted the City, the greatest loss of life from a natural disaster in California history could have been averted.

 

Hmmm. I wonder why that never happened? Perhaps because science and the technology it engenders had not reached this state, where we can now detect with precise instrumentation the first evidence of an earthquake, before the rolling waves hit populated areas, giving people time to protect themselves, stop medical procedures and allow transportation systems to slow down and/or stop.

God’s had a long time to provide something similar, but apparently he doesn’t think it’s very important.

And prayer only works after the fact.

Oh, wait…prayer doesn’t work at all.

 

Not All Atheists Are Alike

Recently there was a study that found that there were six types of atheists. Apparently, a disbelief in the supernatural is not a monolithic belief system, held  in equal measure by all atheists. Actually, anecdotally, I think we would all say that was somewhat true, though it’s nice to have it confirmed. I often find myself in disagreement with other atheists about matters I would expect to agree on, based on the fact that I know how I arrived at my atheism, and assume that their path to disbelief was at least similar. But, lo, it turns out that doesn’t really work out in real life.

I was reminded of this by a discussion I had recently on Facebook. As I said, I sort of expect other atheists to think like me, so I’m a tad bit surprised when they don’t.

Benghazi – Much Ado About Nothing

Does anyone understand WTF is going on with this trumped up controversy? I watch the news, and I thought the whole thing died down after the election, when  the false indignity of the Republicans was used to hopefully, maybe, possibly push Romney over the edge and into the Oval Office. It didn’t work. So it should have dimmed, even died, because there was no “there, there” as Obama has pointed out.

Six Years

Uneventfully, last week marked the sixth anniversary of when I started this blog. Since then,  a lot has happened.

• The Boston Bombers killed 4 and maimed scores in another “faith based initiative”, were discovered, one was killed and the other captured, and (finally) read his Miranda rights.
• Congress failed to pass a weakened version of a bill designed to require people to get background checks when they buy a gun, despite overwhelming popular support.
• A fertilizer plant in Texas, that had not been inspected in decades, blew up, killing scores (we think – it’s so bad, it’s hard to count the bodies).
• Related to the last one, Texas legislators that voted against federal support for Hurricane Sandy relief came begging for federal support for West, Texas.
• Anonymous hacked The Facebook page of the Westboro Baptist Church, and have been running it quite successfully, and humorously, since then.
• Ricin-laced letters were apparently sent to President Obama and another US Senator.
• Multiple countries are legalizing same-sex marriage. New Zealand and, it looks like, France are the latest.
• A Pennsylvania couple, previously convicted of allowing their child to die by refusing medical care in favor of the power of prayer, apparently did it again.
• The poor are still getting poorer; the rich, richer.

All in one week!

Why I’m An Atheist (In 200 Words Exactly)

• Because I was BORN an atheist. Two people I loved unthinkingly indoctrinated me into believing in something that didn’t exist. Key word – “unthinkingly”. The state of my knowledge at birth was the correct one.
• Because religion, super-naturalism, has never explained anything. From the very beginning of civilization to the present, whenever religion has tried to explain  previously mystifying natural phenomena (from lightning through mental illness to the size of the universe) it has always gotten it wrong. Always. It has not been right yet, and the odds are it will never be right, if we ever get to the point in human knowledge where we know everything.
• Because religion is an inherently anti-human phenomenon. I’m a human, not a spirit. Religion explains spirits. There are no spirits, and there’s never been any evidence of spirits. As a human, there is a natural, logical way to treat other humans, and it does not involve burning them at the stake, making them believe what I believe at the point of a blade, or flying airplanes into buildings. Religion is cruel and inhuman, in almost all aspects of its justifying rationalizations.
• Because I don’t need religion to be a good person.

The End

Gotta Love Conventions

In an effort to get another post in this month, I thought I’d ruminate on the recent Republican National Convention. I know. Snooze time, but really, it’s August 31, and this is my last chance to get something written this month.

Akin To Ignorance

Cartoon credit – http://www.mattbors.com

We all have heard the recent news about Rep. Todd Akin over the past two days. In an interview, he opined about pregnancies caused by rape:

“It seems to me, from what I understand from doctors, that’s really rare. If it’s a legitimate rape, the female body has ways to try to shut that whole thing down. But let’s assume that maybe that didn’t work or something: I think there should be some punishment, but the punishment ought to be of the rapist, and not attacking the child.”

The Authoritarians

If you’re like me, you have a hard time ingesting current news, especially on the political front. The polarization of America is, front and center, the most perplexing aspect of current political discourse. Take for instance this fixation on defeating Obama, making him a “one term President” as Mitch McConnell promised early in his administration, during a time of economic crisis when millions of people were losing their homes, their jobs, and their way of life, and Congress should have been working WITH the President, not against him.