Venus Fly-Trap

The theist was tired. Long had he battled against the soldiers of reason, and their arguments. He needed to rest. Out of the corner of his eye he spotted a bold red bridge, curving over a small brook. Giant green walls, with fronds on top, flexing in the wind, gave shelter on each side. ‘I guess it will stop the wind’ he wearily thought to himself, as he trudged heavily towards it.

Nearing the bridge he saw a sign: ‘Spanish Inquisitor. Beware.’ He didn’t understand, the Inquisition was years ago, or centuries, perhaps even millenia. He didn’t know, his history was bad. His science too, but he didn’t let that bother him. It was then he saw the Bible, resting in the middle of the bridge. A great joy welled up inside of him as he ran towards it. Opening the book with the speed of a child at Christmas, he stared intently at the familiar verse. What he saw reviled him.

On every page there was writing. Page numbers referencing contradictions elsewhere in the scripture, logical fallacies underlined and Biblical horrors circled in red. He dropped the book as if it were aflame. He tried to step back, the bile rising in his throat, but his feet would not move. Falling backwards, he stuck his hands out to his side, hoping to break his fall. Back against the ground, his hands and feet trapped, it was only then he noticed how sticky the floor was. He pulled and he struggled, but to no avail. He was stuck. He started to pray.

It was then he noticed the rumbling; pulses of contraction rippling through the floor. The walls creaked and groaned, and then, they started to move. Slowly the walls creeped in, closing like a great mouth. He saw the stars in the sky slowly disappear. Just as the last pricks of starlight were about to be swallowed he heard a great, evil laugh. “Ahhhhaa! Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisitor!”. And then there was nothing.

This is original fiction created by XanderG and is reproduced here with his permission.

Visit him at The Bad News Bible

2 thoughts on “Venus Fly-Trap

  1. What a strange little story. You don’t really eat Christians, do you? I would not recommend that at all, although the Catholics do eat and drink their god….which is a special form of nastiness if you ask me.

    Eating Christians will give you indigestion, unless you’re used to swallowing lies that is.


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