I wrote this on the day after Christmas.
With apologies to Major Henry Livingston Jr. (1748-1828)
(previously believed to be Clement Clarke Moore).
‘Twas the day after Christmas, and all through the House
The leftovers were eaten, the fire was well doused.
The stockings had been stripped of their goodies and lost
While the pols at the Capitol dreamed of bribes of great cost.
They consider that guv’mint will run by itself
Without revenue or taxes or anything else
The cliff that is looming, we’re about to go over,
While the Republicans think we’re just swimming in clover
The rich of the nation want to keep all their cash,
And hoard it and bank it and call it their stash.
Leaving all of the rest of us to pay through the nose
And file for bankruptcy while the house is foreclosed.
Boehner tans and then threatens to put on the brakes
After each and every offer any Democrat makes,
He ignores that the economy is in such a shit,
Not admitting that his party was the one that caused it.
The party of “No!” just keeps saying “Nyet”
While the country keeps asking “Are we there yet?”
Half the country thinks yeah, the other half, no,
Yet the economy keeps running on the speed we call “slow”.
Obama keeps trying, making this and that offer,
Hoping that soon the Republicans’ll falter,
And stumble and lose all their imagined popularity,
While he dreams of ending all the divisive polarity.
Negotiation seems pointless, compromise distant,
The probability of settling appears nonexistent.
But Obama’s not ready to throw in the towel,
He simply won’t give in to the 3rd Thurston Howell.
He pulls together his Cabinet, and all his supporters
And lays it all out for the country’s reporters,
Who explain to the public and the rest in the know
How to get what the country needs to continue to grow.
Now Geithner, now Clinton, now Pelosi and Reid!
On Cantor, on Ryan and on McConnell, we need
To convince and cajole, and wheedle and harass
To get them to raise taxes on those that amass.
If we can do so by New Year’s, the cliff we’ll avoid
The debt ceiling raised, the Tea Party annoyed
We’ll be able to exclaim, through 2016
”Fiscal balance to all, and for all much more green“.
SPANISH INQUISITOR 