Let’s Investigate Everything

In the Nothing’s-Too-Stupid-For-The-Republican-Party Department:

Mitt Romney, Michele Bachmann, and Rick Santorum have all signed a pledge to form a commission to investigate the LGBT community if elected President.

What? You say?  WTF? What in the hell needs to be investigated here? The National Organization for Marriage (an organization we must surely need, since marriage has such a bad name these days) proposes that all the Presidential candidates sign the following pledge to:

establish a presidential commission on religious liberty to investigate and document reports of Americans who have been harassed or threatened for exercising key civil rights to organize, to speak, to donate or to vote for marriage and to propose new protections, if needed.

Wow. Just wow. A commission to investigate instances where Americans have been harassed because they spoke in favor of marriage (read, against gay marriage). Not a commission to investigate the harassment of gays, or the violation of their civil rights to…ummm…not be assaulted, bullied, or even tortured and killed.

Ok, this is from The Onion, right? The reason these three signed the pledge is because we have a serious problem with bigots not being able to express themselves, right? Their Constitutional right to spout hatred and bigotry is being infringed upon on a daily basis, so what we need is a Presidential Commission to investigate people who are preventing them from doing so. Like the poor, overly harassed Westboro Baptist Church, Fred Phelps and others of that ilk. You know how much they are prevented from picketing funerals and other similar events.

Personally, I think there are other, more personal motivations behind these three signing the pledge.

  1. Santorum wants to investigate why they named a particular …ummm… residue after him.
  2. Bachmann thinks that they are part of the War on Christmas. “Don we now our gay apparel….”
  3. Romney used to think that the LGBT community was legitimate, but changed his mind.
  4. Perry’s not mentioned, but if asked he’d say that he’s got three good reasons to investigate: 1. He hates gays, 2. he probably IS gay, and 3. …ummm…wait a minute…it’s on the tip of my tongue…ooops. (OK. Cheap joke.)

The campaigns of all three of them, and any others who sign this odious pledge, should travel the path as that of the Cain campaign, and good riddance.

Well, I fin’ly started thinkin’ straight
When I run outa things to investigate
Couldn’t imagine doin’ anything else
So now I’m sittin’ home investigatin’ myself!
Hope I don’t find out anything . . . hmm, great God!

Bob Dylan – Talkin John Birch Paranoid Blues

21 thoughts on “Let’s Investigate Everything

  1. From having posted that same video on FaceBook I got into a discussion with someone claiming same-sex marriage would deny the right of children to know their biological heritage, and deny them the influence of one of their biological parent. Said influence is apparently critical for growing up without serious emotional and psychological issues.

    Did I say discussion? I meant talking with someone with the equivalent reasoning capacity of a brick wall. At one point she mentioned she refrained from raising the convincing argument relating to their astrological signs because she knew I did not put any stock in them. How considerate of her.

    • In the past an adopted child did not have the right to know their birth parents. In 2002 North Carolina began to allow for post-adoption contact between children and birth parents. Prior to 2002, NC only had closed adoptions – no contact between birth parents and children. In fact, the only reason NC changed was for the fact that medical treatment of genetic diseases became serious. This medical information was enough to make the residents of NC recognize contact between children and their birth parents was important enough to change the law.

      • Understand the argument did not relate to medical treatment, but rather to the emotional development of the children. The statements made were along the line knowing the ethnic background and having contact with both biological parents are crucial for the development of a child and for the eventual adult to better understand facets of their own behavior and personality.

        In that debate I never argued against her position, limited and misguided as it was.

        I did point out the arguments she used were exactly the same as those used by people against mixed race marriages, and mixed religions marriages.

        Just to be clear, I am not interested in rehashing the arguments here. Genealogy is not the topic of discussion here as it was not on my post. The topic is laws restricting adults to make decisions about their own lives have no basis other than personal bias from religiously influenced individuals.

  2. My first thought in response to the disperser’s “discussion” was adoption. My second thought was how those against same sex marriage are more than likely the same who are for adoption, regardless of whose rights they have to stifle. Then of course I thought of how for a long time in the North East, adoption has been controlled by the Catholics who made sure no one could find out about those adoptions because we all know how good the Catholics are with keeping secrets.

    As far as the signed agreement by the Republican candidates to investigate the denial of rights to those who seek to deny the rights of others, I honestly can’t be surprised by anything they do anymore. When the most normal and sane one of the bunch wears magic underwear, um, well what do you expect?

    As for not breeding, anyone familiar with Doug Stanhope?

  3. Bachmann thinks that they are part of the War on Christmas. “Don we now our gay apparel….”

    Does this mean I'll have to wear a rainbow-patterned dress to the office Christmas party?

    • Does this mean I’ll have to wear a rainbow-patterned dress to the office Christmas party?

      Yes. Send Pics!

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