Split Personality

As you would expect, Herman Cain’s wife stands by her man. Hey! It’s a marriage. Why wouldn’t she? That’s what married couples do. They try to overlook the failings of their spouses and sometimes go public with nonsensical rationalizations.

Herman Cain’s wife says the claims of sex harassment against the GOP presidential candidate don’t ring true because he “totally respects women.”

Mmmm-hmmm. And Jerry Sandusky totally respects young males.

Gloria Cain told Fox News’ Greta Van Susteren: “I’m thinking he would have to have a split personality to do the things that were said.”

Really? A split personality? That seems a bit hyperbolic. I would think it’s less complex than that. I think you could pretty much boil it down to – HE’S A MAN! Because if you try to ascribe this to a serious mental pathology, like split personalities (and I think there is a clinical definition for that, but I’m too lazy to look it up. Maybe MPD? Wait! I found it. Dissociative Identity Disorder.) then Arnold Schwarzenegger, Elliot Spitzer, and that Governor from one of the Carolinas, who said he was trekking the Appalachian Trail when in fact he was schtupping his South American mistress, are all suffering from split personalities.

To buy her defense of her husband, you’d have to believe that men don’t cheat (and I’m not picking on men – this is not a gender issue). But historically, give a man a little power and the inflated ego that tends to go hand in hand with it, add a small dose of human testosterone, sprinkle it with an ample helping of opportunity and resources, and you have a recipe for infidelity and, yes, sexual harassment. (See Bill Clinton.) You’d also have to believe that a husband would be incapable of hiding an occasional sexual overture from his wife.

In Herman Cain’s situation, he is a man, so barring some hormonal deficiency, he has the necessary testosterone. He certainly had the power as the head of the National Restaurant Association in the 1990s. The position doesn’t quite attract the job seekers like, say, the Oval Office does, but I’ll bet he got a fair share of people, hat in hand, hoping he could put a good word in for them. The opportunities can always be found. Sexual harassment takes no more than an isolated location, a few words, a raised eyebrow, to convey the request for sexual favors.  So that leaves the inflated ego.

Republican Herman Cain credits God with telling him that he needed to run for president.

I rest my case.

3 thoughts on “Split Personality

  1. It’s funny how god only tells Republicans to run for president. I wonder why he told both Bachmann and Cain to run in the same election? He must be moving in some of his mysterious ways again…

  2. More irrational rationalization examples? Gosh, how do you find them? They seem like such sane and rational people!

    Btw, what does sleeping with women have to do with respecting or not respecting women? If he’s cheating on his wife, then he’s simply failing to respect one woman, his wife.

  3. Chappy: “moving in some of his mysterious ways …”

    I think you mean he was “having a mysterious movement.”

    Also, I have never cheated on my wife, but if a rumor were out there that I had, she’d jump out of her chair, “I knew it, you sorry bastard!” Unless, perhaps I were running for President. Being First Lady does have some perks, if I understand the job description correctly…

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