Muslim extremists believe that if they kill themselves while taking a bunch of infidels with them in the process (see 9/11, suicide bombers), they will be rewarded for these acts of extreme human cruelty in the next world, when they enter heaven, and are greeted by the sight of 72 virgins available for their every incorporeal pleasure. However, for some reason, if the mastermind of 9/11, the execution of Daniel Pearl, and numerous other atrocities is executed after a fair (?) trial, for some reason this bothers Osama bin Laden, so much that he threatens the life of every American in captivity if Khalid Sheik Mohammad is executed.
It seems to me that if a lowly foot soldier gets to go to heaven and fuck 72 virgins for blowing himself up in the great cause of jihad, then so should the man who ordered him or her to do so, despite being temporarily prevented from doing the same until tried, convicted and then summarily dispatched to his final resting place. If Mr. Sheik Mohammad is, is fact, on the short list for the next crop of 72 virgins, shouldn’t bin Laden be rejoicing in his ultimate martyrdom for the cause, not to mention his good luck? (Have you seen this guy? It has to be the best thing that could ever happen to him. ) Shouldn’t he, in fact, be encouraging a speedy trial, rather than threatening captives of war? Shouldn’t he be happy for his buddy?
There’s a certain disconnect between the logic of religious views of the afterlife, and their adherents personal desire to attain them. It’s much the same in almost any religion. Christian fundamentalists, for example, spend their whole lives proclaiming the glory of the second coming of Christ, and talk about how wonderful it would be to be chosen to be included in the Rapture, yet they don’t seem all that anxious to leave this world, and are quite sad when someone they profess to love does so in advance of them, as if their loved ones were not going to their ultimate, blissful reward. You would think death would not be a time of grieving for them.
Bin Laden seems to have the same attitude.
You would think that if the current recruits for jihad, some already in their training camps reviewing their well thumbed Manual of Suicide Bombing, preparing for that glorious day when they, too, get to walk into a crowded mall and trigger the switch on their strap-on explosive vest, open up their print equivalent of Al-Jezeera and see that their fearless, yet distant, unseen cave-dwelling leader is threatening the United State for the sole purpose of preventing one of his lieutenants from joining them in the hereafter, as if that was a bad thing, they would begin to wonder if all this 72 virgin stuff is really true? What if it’s not, and when they get to heaven, they find out that Allah doesn’t follow through with the goods? What remedy will they have? Do they have a small claims court in heaven? Have they even thought to ask such questions, or are they swallowing the pablum of religious faith like a pelican swallows a herring?
I suspect the latter, because that’s the hallmark of most religious faith – blind. They accept on faith far more than they think through. If I was a potential suicide bomber, I would be questioning the statements of bin Laden, rather than slavishly bowing 5 times a day towards Mecca thanking Allah for such a courageous leader.
How do you ask “What the fuck?” in Arabic?
reddit 
SPANISH INQUISITOR 
Yikes! Clearly, one man’s heaven is 72 virgins’ hell.
More seriously, you said:
The man you are now would not be a suicide bomber – you would have asked and answered those questions long before drinking that much of the kool-aid. On the other hand, if (some version of) you were a suicide bomber, you might not be capable of questioning bin Laden’s statements. You’d possibly (probably?) be interpreting through them a filter that would justify them along the lines of, “those infidels have no right to judge a righteous Muslim and deprive a hero of the chance to die a martyr’s death of his choosing.”
I agree that believers should be asking the sorts of questions you raised, but I also understand why many don’t, and never will, do so.
No man knows Allah’s plans. The infidel powers may at any time come to their senses and begin to act with reason and justice. If that happens, then the mujahideen will sheath their swords, and we can negotiate a truce, including such matters as reparations and prisoner exchange. But if brother Khaled is to be executed, then we pray that Allah will accept him, and we will gladly send a few Americans to Hell in reply.
Hmmm. If no one knows allah’s plans, then how do you know he would want you to do anything? Like blowing up innocent people? Or flying a plane into a building? And how would you know there are 72 virgins waiting for you?
This “no man knows god’s plans” shtick gets a little old.
My head hurts. Are you a Jew?
Take two aspirin and retry your question in the morning. Tonight, it makes no sense.
I’ll echo SI’s question of how do you know any of this if your god’s plans are unknown, but I’d like to also ask where in the Koran I can find where it states 72 virgins will be a reward for slaughtering infidels? If it’s not in there, then where did that come from?
Interestingly enough many do question or unfortunately they are either unaware or bullied into it, or worse, blown up by remote control.
http://www.trutv.com/library/crime/terrorists_spies/terrorists/palestinians/index.html
Just reword the article a little, and it’s a whole new ball game.
It’s always the children religion picks on. As the Jesuits used to say, “give me the child before the age of 7 and I’ll give you the man”.
T4T:
That article is depressing. The two things about it that depress me the most are:
1) It’s utterly believable.
2) It seems utterly ordinary, given what religious fanatics have repeatedly proven themselves capable of doing.
I would say yes. Of course, bin Laden or any of his defenders would probably retort by noting that though they are in fact enthralled about the immanency of Mr. Mohammad’s reward, they are “lashing out against those who obstruct Allah’s work on Earth,” or something similar. But yeah, I’d say you’ve got it straight: it’s an apparent contradiction.
Regarding the question about the Koran: the Koran doesn’t specifically state that the faithful will be rewarded 72 virgins. Rather, this sentiment comes from the hadith, a collection of sayings alleged to have came from Muhammad. #2,562 in Sunan al-Tirmidhi says, “The least [reward] for the people of Heaven is 80,000 servants and 72 wives, over which stands a dome of pearls, aquamarine and ruby.”
Thanks for the info.
I don’t know if you got that from my link in the post, cl, but if you did, and read further down, you’d see that there is well received recent scholarship (as of the date of the link – 2002) that indicates that the “virgins” is a mis-translation, and that what it really says is 72 white raisins.
Hey BTW, AFAIK, the Meme Pool is kaput – you might want to remove it from your blogroll. Or not.
So is Primordial Blog and A Load of Bright, but I keep them up there in case they decide to come back. I still chat with Toby over on Facebook on occasion.
Though I don’t think Brian at Primordial Blog will be, unless he changes careers.
And that’s relevant how?
As an interesting digression. Take it or leave it.
It’s relevant, because grapes are not quite as enticing a reward as 72 virgins for a would be suicide bomber.
Personally, I would prefer one experienced woman over 72 virgins. 😉
Actually, when I read this:
I was thinking I might convert to Islam. Gotta love those appetising vaginas. 8)
First off, if your erection was eternal you’d faint, and then there’s the issue of how raw that thing would be with houris perpetually bouncing up and down on it. No, I think I’d be much more drawn to a heaven with a single non-virginal, experienced houri who after a go on the Elected shlong, pops off to make a really nice sandwich for you and gets you a beer while not saying a fucking word. 🙂
Sexbots will probably come in ‘silent’ mode… meanwhile, I’m sure if you paid the hooker extra, she’d comply. 😉
Jesus Christ Philly
You actually had me nodding my head in agreement until my wife slapped me silly. 😉
ما هو الجماع , apparently.
Thanks for noticing, and I do still putter around now and again… nice to see you’re all still at it!