The Wacky Side of Religion

Cl says all I do here is bash religion.  Maybe because it’s such an easy target.

Most people have a tendency to pay religion far more respect than it deserves. We tend to be inculcated from birth with the idea that,  generally, religion is good, deserves respect, and that because it usually deals with such things as omnipotent beings, the afterlife, and other delusional concepts,  we should tread softly when discussing the subject, lest we anger the gods.


If you follow religious thinking to its many illogical conclusions, you often end up with stuff like this.

MIAMI —  Devotees of a Miami man claiming to practice a traditional African religion say they had to ingest the mucus of a Giant African Snail that sickened them.

Federal authorities in January raided Charles L. Stewart’s home after receiving complaints. Stewart has not been criminally charged, but prosecutors and state and federal wildlife agencies are investigating. The Giant African Snail is prohibited in the U.S. without special approval.

Experts say it devastates new ecosystems. The snail grows up to 10 inches long, can reproduce on its own and even can even eat plaster.

Stewart says he means no harm, and his religion uses the snails in healing ceremonies.

Followers said they got violently ill, losing weight and developing strange lumps in their stomachs.

Maybe they’re little baby snails growing in there, since they can reproduce on their own. The mere thought of that would cause me to become violently ill, though I wouldn’t argue about a little weight loss. I could use it.

Now really, is there not a fine line between a religious ritual involving the ingestion of Giant Snail juice , and one involving common wine that someone prays over in the belief that it’s been transformed into god’s blood? At least the Catholics let you drink something tasty, even if alter wine isn’t exactly a fine Cabernet.

Perhaps that explains the overwhelming prevalence of Catholicism, while this little known African religion only has a few, violently ill Floridian adherents.

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13 thoughts on “The Wacky Side of Religion

  1. That might help explain the prevalence of Catholicism, but not of Protestantism, whose alter wine is often actually grape juice. Thought I’d still take the Welch’s over snail mucus.

  2. Snail mucus? BLEAGH! In all fairness, though, that doesn’t sound much worse than blood, even if the blood is fake.

    I’m not sure if I’ve ever had communion wine, since The Salvation Army doesn’t practice communion (I took communion in other churches sometimes). There was an occasion when some of my friends and I had our little unauthorized communion service one Easter Sunday morning; we drank a can of beer behind the church in the interval between the sunrise breakfast and the church service. For the record, that’s the only time I ever drank booze that early in the day.

  3. I’ve heard priests say “body of Christ, body of Christ, body of Christ,” when dispensing their magical wafers. What does Stewart say? “Snot of snail, snot of snail, snot of snail.” That’s a fucking tongue-twister if you repeat it over and over.

    I eventually found myself intoning “sot of nails,” which brings us back to Jesus and the wine. God sure works in mysterious ways.

  4. Years ago, the Korean-Christian lady across the street from me was told by one of her fellow parishioners that the leaves of the fruitless mulberry tree in her yard had miraculous healing powers. She made tea out of them, and became violently ill. There’s a sucker born every minute.

  5. No, No, No, No! If a Christian demonization does it, no matter how bizarre, it is a protected part of their religious tenets. If any other religion (other than (sometimes) Judaism) does it, is is a bizarre superstition smacking of demon worship which must be squashed to preserve teh KKKristian Heritage ™ of ‘Merca!

    Snail snot? Hell, why not have a church in which ‘greasy, grimey gopher guts’ are part of the ceremony?

  6. I am so horribly sick of the “but it’s my religion!” excuse. I don’t care what stupid bullshit you believe, if you’re breaking the law, you’re breaking the law. Any bets this guy gets off with nothing more than a slap on the wrist, or worse, gets a permit, because he has a wacky religious belief?

  7. I don’t see why this guy should be charged with anything other than illegal possession of the snail. Look, if I say to stick a needle in your eye to see god and you do it, why should I go to jail? You’re the idiot. You should be the one locked up, for yours and perhaps others’ protection.

    Certainly the religions which have flourished have had good marketing moves. Christianity has been very clever in its marketing. Probably the biggest one was doing away with that whole penis snipping and letting the non-Jews join in. Snail juice isn’t going to win anybody over. Kool-aid was popular once.

  8. Such snails are easy to come by on my side of the pond – I used to keep them as pets. (This is what happens when your father is an invertebrate specialist and you ask for a puppy.) if I’d only known then that I could have started a religion with the slimy fuckers, I’d be Pope by now.

  9. Considering how repulsive escargot is when served according to the instructions, I can’t imagine voluntarily ingesting anything either mucus-based or snail-based.

  10. Your site is loading really slow for me today, I come here atleast 3-4 times per week so I know this is def out of the norm for your blog.

    • I think it’s the new theme. It’s a bit slow, and choppy for my tastes, too. I’m still tweaking it, so let’s see how long I keep it. I like the theme, but …

      It might also be the two video’s in the last two posts that have to load on the opening screen. I’m going to give it a little time before i get frustrated enough to pitch it.

      But thanks for coming back so regularly. 🙂

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