Doncha love it when the day starts out just right?
On my way to work this morning, I found myself behind a car with the above emblem on its trunk. I actually didn’t notice it right away, because I was too busy tying to avoid the accident the driver almost caused when she cut out of her lane and into mine, forcing me to slam on my brakes. She didn’t even look. She must have just whispered a prayer, and hoped for the best. Her car was full, I was a little preoccupied trying to slow down my heartbeat, so, as I was muttering indecent epithets over my breath, I took more notice of the crowded car and the rosary beads dangling from the mirror, than I did of the trunk.
I proceeded to follow her (it was a woman, or more precisely, a car full of women) up the road. I had no choice. She was traveling in my direction. I was heading to Starbucks for my morning eye-opener, 
and to my chagrin, she turned into the same parking lot. I prayed under my breath to Cthulhu that she wasn’t going to Starbucks, because if she beat me in the door, I’d be behind her in line, and I tend to think of the place a bit too possessively, as if it was MY Starbucks. They all know me there, and when I walk in, my coffee is usually in the process of being prepared, before I get to the counter and order it. I hate to stand in line. In and out is my motto, and it’s a good one to live by. It’s served me well in most areas of my life.
Anyway, Cthulhu was apparently preoccupied at the moment, and they indeed got there first, and it turned out to be a multi-generational family of women. Grandma, Ma, Sis and the kids. All asking a flurry of questions, changing their minds, adding to the order, subtracting from the order, digging into purses, and generally taking about an hour to get their 
drinks. Being the patient man that I am, I quietly seethed behind them, while eying the lone blueberry scone in the display case, and swearing to myself that if they ordered that last scone, there was going to be blood on the floor that morning, by gawd. I could envision the news choppers for Channel 27 circling the shopping center, the TV crawl reading “Crazed atheist takes out family of 5 at Starbucks. Details at noon”.
Fortunately, their lives were spared.
It wasn’t until they were settled into their breakfast at a table, and I had received my order and left, that I noticed the emblem on the back of their car. I had already prejudged them as mindless, narcissistic, assholes that had obtained their driver’s license from Sears, Roebuck, totally oblivious to life around their small circle of experience, but once I saw the emblem, my completely irrational prejudgment was confirmed for the intuitive rectitude I tend to pride myself in. These people (or at least the adults) actually thought Darwin was wrong, and that their “Truth” trumped the science of evolution.
Or maybe they didn’t. Perhaps it was a borrowed car.
No, I prefer to think I was right the first time. Anyone that drives without any empathy for other drivers on the road, and hangs rosary beads on their mirror, for crissake!, and propagates like the Easter Bunny, most likely believes that man walked with dinosaurs approximately 6000 years ago. That sort of sensibility goes hand in hand. That emblem was purchased from Answers in Genesis, and we all know what kind of stupidity emanates from that organization.
Does the Creation Museum ring a bell? I can see their car in the museum parking lot. It’s probably where they purchased the car emblem, because I doubt that someone so opposed to science would have a good handle on how to use the internet, unless they asked cousin Jasper to order it for them.
What gets me is the ignorant sentiment, that their religious truth trumps science. Science deals with fact, while their religious beliefs deal with…delusions. What they want to believe is generally what they do believe, and facts be damned. Science, though, is reliable. You can dislike the results of science because they contradict your predisposition to feel comfortable with religious self-delusions, but you cannot argue away those results with faith (as that emblem does). That can only be done with different and more supportable scientific results.
As I eased out of the parking lot and headed to work, I took solace in the fact that that blueberry scone was one of the best scones I’ve ever had. The coffee was great too.
It’s the little pleasures in life I seem to enjoy the most.
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I’m glad you included those last two paragraphs. I was beginning to think the barista had forgotten to put sugar in your coffee, Mr. Cranky.
Yes. I was a little cranky, but you had to be there. Remember, this was before I had my coffee and scone.
Where I live, the closest thing to a written sign stating “I drive like an asshole” is a bigass truck with bigass tires. Only slightly below that is a Jeebus fish. If I were the religious type, I would probably think that that silly trinket was the source of some demonic influence retarding the driver’s ability to perceive other vehicles or pedestrians.
I saw that Truth Eats Darwin emblem on the back of a car sometime last year. I generally eschew having emblems or bumper stickers on my car that advertise what I think. All I need is to provide some deranged stranger with an axe to grind to vandalize my car or leave a nasty note under the windshield wiper.
I was tempted to create my own sticker that would read “Jesus Doesn’t Love Me”.
As for mindless, narcissistic assholes, fewer things annoy me than stepping onto a train on the way to or from work, and in the side that has 3 seats per row, some douchebag plunks himself down in the aisle seat and already has his lap top out and is typing away while the middle and window seats are empty, which means that if you want to sit there, you have to ask him to let you by. Why can’t these fucks just take the window seat so the rest of the passengers can quickly seat themselves?
Countdown to the obligatory CL comment where he writes something like “I enjoyed your post, SI, until I got to the part where you wrote this:”
What gets me is the ignorant sentiment, that their religious truth trumps science. Science deals with fact, while their religious beliefs deal with…delusions.
“Religious truth and scientific truth are not mutually exclusive and you shouldn’t make sweeping statements like that… blah, blah blah!”
Thanks Tommy. I can stop holding my breath now. 😉
I noticed years ago that you can see the mind of America by driving. Wanton narcissism. It began with the lack of turn signals and now we have texting while eating a muffin and changing lanes without looking because you’re entitled to it and empathy is dead and besides, those laws don’t really apply to YOU, especially when you have your personal Jesus looking out for you. Btw, remember when it used to be merely a guardian angel? Now it’s Jesus himself. Just further evidence of the escalation of self importance.
Btw, remember when it used to be merely a guardian angel? Now it’s Jesus himself.
That’s because of cutbacks at the piety plant. All those GA’s are now working at Starbucks.
I bet they tried outsourcing to India, which is why Jesus has to handle everything personally now since you can never trust those fuckers to get anything done right or on-time unless you’re on them 24/7 and even then it’s unlikely. When will these companies learn? And now Jesus has it’s hands full saving people from these Toyota mishaps. God wouldn’t have done the layoffs if he knew that was going to happen. Oh wait…
My wife has a thesis: she has opined that the “Honk If You Love Jesus” bumper stickers are a sort of defense mechanism.
The people who display that sentiment are usually the recipient of angry honks because of their demented driving habits, so in their mind their co-believers are merely greeting them, not expressing anger at nearly being killed.
We saw one the other day, “The Lord Is Riding With Me”.
Given the performance of that car’s driver, I was reminded of the Brother Dave bit, where there is an admonition, “You better let him out before you kill him”!
“Jesus is my copilot” … but he’s drunk too.
Annoying drivers are, well… annoying. Need anyone say more?
Man, can anyone say fixated? It’s like you guys are just sitting around thinking about me or something. That’s sad.
But since you brought it up, I didn’t enjoy this post at all. I found it as boring and predictable as most of you probably find my responses. We already know SI’s low opinion of believers; why constantly reinforce it at every keystroke? For what it’s worth, I’d love to hear SI criticize his own, or say something positive about religion for once. But at the end of the day, I don’t really care.
Kudos for yet another oversimplified version of reality. Truth is, what science calls “fact” is often subject to change and just like the believers you criticize, scientists have also been known to argue away results based on philosophical disliking (cf. Gribbin, as just one example).
Your post exhibits the same pattern as most of your others: “science good, religion bad, atheists good, theists bad, theists deny reality, scientists accept it.” Hating on believers every chance you get might provide some self-confirmation, but it’s just not that black-and-white in the real world, I’m afraid.