It was inevitable, but it’s now official. We have another religion attempting to crowd out all the thousands of others vying for the hearts, minds and pocketbooks of the suckers of the world. It’s The Cult of Michael Jackson. I suspect that it’s a bit tongue in cheek, but it seems to have all the accoutrements of a religion. There’s Scripture, a brick and mortar Chapel, the ability to become a minister, and a Facebook page. All the necessities of fine worship at your fingertips.
Why do we need another religion, you ask? And why one with MJ as the savior, god, and shill all rolled up in one? According to their mission statement:
We are inspired by the brilliance that is Michael Jackson and we embarked on a mission to translate his words into scripture and spread the Cult of MJ gospel. We fully believe that the world would be a better place if we took MJ’s music to heart. We could end the entire world’s suffering and we could literally blame it on the boogie.
Makes perfect sense to me. Actually, it makes a lot more sense than some most all religions. If I was the joining type, and if wasn’t so pissed off that MJ bought and owned the rights to the Beatles catalog, I might just join. I just couldn’t belong to a religion based on the man (?) who committed such a sacrilege.
The other problem is that I couldn’t follow the MJ version of the ten commandments. For instance,
1. You shall have no other pop gods or kings before MJ.
Since Dylan is already a god, this won’t do. Of course, # 7 holds some attraction.
7. You shall not stop until you get enough?
The only thing I’m unsure of is, enough what?
Enough of this. Time to beat it.