We had a few yucks in some past posts about what it would take for us to believe in god(s). We batted around miracles, and concluded a true human limb regeneration, spontaneously occurring after a prayer-for-all or something, might just be the ticket. Chappie entertained a few other criteria, such as a direct, unequivocal, simultaneous revelation, but with no real consensus. But I think I’ve found the one thing that would do it for me.
Imagine getting that letter, postmarked “Heaven”? Who could resist a letter along these lines?
Keep up the good work. “Lying for Jesus” doesn’t sound like a good name for your program, but, hey, if you’re doing it for me, I approve. Just remember. You can’t let all of those heathen atheists you play games with know that we have a personal relationship. They’ll never take you seriously, and the proverbial cat will be out of the bag. If you’re successful, your reward will be an eternity with me. I have enough Altoids to last us at least a billion years, so the halitosis won’t be a problem. At least for a billion years of eternity. After that, we’ll wing it. Get it? Wing it? Angels? Oh, I crack me up.
Yours in Christ
Can you imagine actually getting a letter from Jebus? I mean, fer sure, but I’d be knocked out loaded. That would definitely tug me over the line. I mean, talk about The Word. There would be no turning back, no more doubt, no more hesitation, if Mr. Postman delivered the letter, the sooner the better.
Please Mr. Postman look and see, if there’s a letter in your bag for me.
I’ve been waiting such a long time, for a word from that god of mine.
So, fuck spontaneous human limb regeneration, just send me a letter, oh god.
Make me a believer.