Chew On This

Gods Gristle

God's Gristle

A restaurant owner in Nigeria (they have restaurants in Nigeria?) recently discovered a piece of meat that bore the Arabic words for God, and the name of the prophet Muhammad, in the gristle of the meat. I’ll have to take his word for it, because I don’t read Arabic, but if you do, the picture is up there. Have a look. To me, it looks like tripe, which would naturally have those squiggly little crenelations, but what do I know?

They conducted a scientific inquiry to prove it was a sign from heaven:

A search of the kitchen’s meat revealed three more pieces which bore the names.

Damn! Don’t you just love the scientific method? Not convinced?

A vet told the newspaper the words “defied scientific explanation”.

“Supposing only one piece of meat was found then it would be suspicious, but given the circumstances there is no explanation,” Dr Yakubu Dominic said.

A vet?

Still not convinced this is just not another manifestation of Pareidolia? Here’s the clincher.

It just so happened that local Islamic scholars happened to eat there, and they confirmed the divine nature of the indigestible culinary delicacy.

“When the writings were discovered there were some Islamic scholars who come and eat here and they all commented that it was a sign to show that Islam is the only true religion for mankind,” he said.

I’m glad they settled that. Praise Allah (MPBUHN)!

In other news, at the Vatican, a spokesman for Pope Benedict XVI has announced that the Holy See will be releasing photos of the Pope’s most recent bowel movement, which bears an uncanny resemblance to Bill Donohue. The actual BM will be split into pieces and sold as indulgences.

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11 thoughts on “Chew On This

  1. Butt it is still not a dog butt Jesus.

    I wonder how many pareidolitic transliterations there would be if Christians could understand other alphabets and languages? But, of course, the Bible was written in English, specifically the King James English.

  2. Of course. The best way to prove your existence if you’re God, to truly end the plague of doubt that has swept the entire species since the dawn of religion, and to finally end all the wars and hostility in your name, is to kinda put some almost arabic letters that you have to squint and rotate to see, on some meat. Of *course*.

    Also, that meat looks disgusting. Seriously.

  3. What if you found “Allah” in a piece of pork?

    What if a priest stained an altar boy’s shirt and the stain looked like Jesus?

    When does it matter when you see these fucking things, and when doesn’t it if you’re religious?

  4. That meat looks inedible. You’d think God would have a better sense of presentation.

  5. I found a pic of Britney Spears on one of my shredded wheat thingies this morning, but in a spirit of compassion I went ahead and ate it. She’s having enough problems.

  6. I may be getting some spiritual signs. Last night had a rather loose stool bowel movement. When I wiped, I looked at the paper and there was a near perfect image of the prophet Mohamed. I know this might sound a bit blasphemous – but I went ahead and flushed it. Probably should have saved it for some Islamic society that preserves sacred relics, but, oh well…

  7. Thank you, Evo. Now I find myself wondering if it is easier to write a deity’s name in the snow in the Latin, Cyrillic, or Arabic alphabet. Well, it got the Chicken Dancd song out of my head, so thank you. Really.

  8. I just took another look at the pic. That’s people having sex. Seriously. At least two of them, might be three or four. Yeah, that’s what it is. Inspired sex. I’ve gotta start looking more closely at my food.

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