Within a few hundred views, I’m going to hit a small milestone. Small in comparison, to say Daily Kos, or even Pharyngula. But for this humble blogger, it’s a lot more that I ever anticipated when I started this blog.
Roughly fourteen months after I decided to go public with those precursors to mental illness we commonly call brain farts, i.e this blog, I’m about to hit the 100,000 view milestone.
I’m not sure whether that’s really significant. In fact, being the critical thinker I imagine myself to be, I’m sure it’s not significant. However, it is a very large number. I’m actually into six digits. If that was income, I could afford my kid’s college education, or at least his drug rehab.
So my question to you, my faithful reader (you know who you are) is this. How do I mark this momentous occasion? How do I celebrate it? Do I bring out the L’il Inquisitors and have them show you what they’ve learned, lo, these past 14 months? I’m sure they have some mementos of the past few months that they are quite proud of. I seem to remember a few skulls, though I’ve shied away from their videotape collection.
You tell me.
Should I buy a cake? With 100,000 candles?
Should I call it quits and shut down, conceding that I’ve said everything that could possibly be said? Or at least typed everything that could possibly be typed in the hunt-and-peck style I employ?
Should I get my friends in the Atheosphere to petition Congress to pass a Resolution congratulating me on my overworked and underwhelming milestone? Do you think Bush would sign it? Or could I hope for, dare I say it, a presidential veto?
Should I get PhillyChief to photoshop the L’il Inquisitors into maturity?
Should I provoke The Exterminator into a attitude of pissedoffedness? (This is not a state of mental well being to be emulated, though frankly, it is easy to pull off. I’ll just write in Pastor John Hagee in the upcoming Presidential election.)
Should I acknowledge that this was all a dream, that JR Ewing made me write this blog, and that when I awoke, I realized that I was a committed Christian?
From Texas, no less?
I’m really at a loss, here.
I need some suggestions.
Anybody?
del.icio.us 
reddit 
[With thanks to PhillyChief for the eyeballs]
SPANISH INQUISITOR 
Wow: 100,000 views. And to think I knew you when you couldn’t even light a decent fire at the stake.
You may be right that it’s all a dream, but you might get lucky and wake up as Bob Newhart next to Suzanne Pleshette. On the other hand, you might wake up and find Ray Bolger, Jack Haley, and Bert Lahr gathered around you and your little dog. Check your footwear.
I think you should celebrate by starting on your second 100,000 right away. But do take a moment to toast yourself with a bowlful of Moose Tracks ice cream.
I think you should find out how many of those 100,000 you pissed off and how many you didn’t. Then do more of whatever pissed them off as well as more of whatever didn’t. But mix it all together randomly so that we never know what you’re up to. And throw in an obscure Mad Magazine reference for anyone who might get it.
Other than that you should remember 100,000 isn’t real, it’s just a number.
How do I mark this momentous occasion?
You just did 🙂
A celebration of any kind is incomplete without cake. I recommend this one. Since I can’t present it to you myself, I shall simply imagine you eating it with a big smile on your face. Congratulations – and thank you; the paltry few hits I have contributed to your illustrious total have improved and edified me no end.
Wasn’t it less than a year ago when you were talking about the 25,000 milestone? Meanwhile, I have been around longer than you and still not at that 25,000! I’d like to encourage everyone reading SI’s blog to click on my blog 5 times, for each time you come here. That should get me caught up.
Yuck! Cook yourself thin cake? How is that a celebratory thing, Yunshui?
You hit these “milestones” too frequently. I think you have to start redefining your milestones.
Here are some things to celebrate all those eyes watching you:
Abdullah Al-Basri
Man paints with eyeball
Man bites out girlfriend’s eye
Tattooed eyeball
Special delivery
Jesus, Philly! Those links are gross!
Congratulations, SI.
Yet you kept clicking the next link, didn’t you?
That.
Was.
Gross.
Where the hell do you find these things, PhillyChief?
(by the way, that cake recipe has nearly 500gs of chocolate and a shitload of honey, eggs, oil and maple syrup in it – I rather fear the chubbies of Cook Yourself Thin are deluding themselves. It is, coinceidentally, also delicious)
Congratulations, SI!
(I was tempted to put about 20 exclamation marks there, but then I caught myself.)
So, have you found out whether you can have your cake and eat it too?
The internet is my oyster, yunshui, and Google shucks it for me
Spanqi, when are you going to pay me for putting through those 75,000 clicks we agreed on?
C’mon dude, we had a deal. Maybe if I had a little money I could get a date.
(((And congratulations.)))
Ex
You have me convinced. I’m going with the Suzanne Pleshette dream. Of course, the down side is I’m now Bob Newhart…
Frank DN
What? Me worry?
yunshui
The cake looks good, but I’d have to donate it to charity after baking it. My diet doesn’t allow it…Oh, what the hell! Let’s eat.
Evo
I spend all day clicking on your site. Are you sure your meter is turned on?
Philly
Thanks for the eyeballs. Here’s looking at you.
OG
So, have you found out whether you can have your cake and eat it too?
No, actually, I find that every time I get some cake, it seems to disappear. It’s kind of spooky.
Ric
I faxed the check to you last month, but I see that you haven’t cashed it yet. Is there a problem?
Chappie, John Morales and everybody else that didn’t leave a comment
Thanks for the well wishing. Now if you’d like to drop some money in the well…
Congratulations, man. A fine achievement!
Way to go SI. To be honest, I don’t know how many views I have had, since I only started using Sitemeter about 8 months after I started.
As to how to celebrate, have ten cans of beer or ten glasses of your favorite alcoholic drink, with one representing 10,000 hits. After all, to actually have 100,000 of them in a single sitting is impossible! That would take a miracle.
Spanqi –
Well, I looked into the check you said you sent and found out that some outfit called the IRS intercepted it. They’ll be talking to you soon. Naturally I told them I didn’t know you and had no idea why you would send me money.
P.S.
Next time meet me with cash at the Starbucks in back of my house.